IRENE COFONE
The Strength No One Sees: The Quiet Discipline of Showing Up
Working motherhood is often discussed in terms of balance, but the reality is far more layered. For many women, strength reveals itself in the quiet moments between responsibility and routine.
Irene Cofone understands that reality intimately. As US Director of HR at Group SJR, she helps leaders navigate complex decisions that impact people’s careers and livelihoods — and then returns home to the equally demanding work of raising two young boys.
In this conversation with Mothered, she reflects on responsibility, patience, and the quiet strength required to lead both at work and at home.
Was there a specific moment, at work or at home, where you realized just how strong you are as a working mother? What happened, and what did it reveal to you about yourself?
There was one particular day that stands out. The kind of day filled with difficult conversations and decisions that impacted people’s livelihoods. By the end of the day, I was mentally and emotionally drained.
I have a long commute home from the city to New Jersey, I use that time to recharge a bit and leave the weight of the day behind.
I arrived home and within minutes I was picking up toys, washing dishes and moving into bedtime routines. Sometime during all of that - it hit me, this is my every day. I carry significant responsibility at work, and then I come home and carry the responsibility of motherhood. I never really stopped to call it hard. I had just done it.
Strength doesn’t always feel powerful. Sometimes it feels like showing up when you’re exhausted. Sometimes it's washing dishes after making hard decisions.
“Strength doesn’t always feel powerful.”
What does strength look like for you right now in the day-to-day reality of your life?
Right now, strength is patience. It’s how I show up at home after a full day at work.
I have a supportive partner and we share the responsibilities of raising our boys, but there are moments when I have to pause and choose how I respond. The shift from work to home happens fast.
Strength is being tired and still getting dinner on the table, helping with homework, and moving through bedtime. It’s also setting boundaries so I can protect my peace, that means closing the laptop, saying no when I need to, and being present where I am. It’s not that easy but I try!
It’s not glamorous. It’s just doing what needs to get done.
“Strength right now is patience.”
You said every decision you make impacts someone’s career, livelihood, and family. How has becoming a mother changed the way you hold that responsibility as an HR leader?
I’ve been a mom for almost ten years and it’s not something that changed me overnight. It’s just part of how I see the world now.
When I’m part of decisions that affect someone’s job, I don’t just think about the position. I think about their life outside of work. I think about their kids, their bills, their routines, the things that don’t stop just because a job changes.
Motherhood hasn’t made those decisions easier, but it has made me more aware of what’s really at stake. I’m more thoughtful about how things are communicated. I’m more direct. And I don’t forget that what happens at work follows people home
You said you’ve stopped downplaying what it takes to lead and mother at the same time. What shifted in you that allowed you to claim that power more openly?
A lot of it has come with age! The older I get, the less interested I am in minimizing myself to make other people comfortable.
Earlier in my career, I probably downplayed how much it took to manage both work and motherhood. I thought that was what you were supposed to do, just handle it quietly and move on. I didn’t want to brag or complain.
But over time, confidence replaces that need to shrink. I know what I do every day and I know the effort it takes. Claiming that isn’t arrogance — it’s awareness. It’s simply being honest about the strength required to live this life.
You coach leaders through difficult conversations and guide companies through change. How has motherhood shaped the way you approach conflict, accountability, or tough decisions?
Motherhood has made me more direct and less reactive. When you’re raising kids, you realize quickly that avoiding hard conversations doesn’t help anyone. You have to say what needs to be said, calmly and clearly.
That’s carried into my work. I don’t dance around difficult topics, but I also try not to approach them emotionally. I’ve learned to pause, think, and respond instead of react.
I don’t always get it right. There are still moments I wish I handled differently, both at work and at home. But motherhood has given me perspective. Not everything is a crisis. Most things can be handled with clarity and consistency. That mindset shapes how I guide leaders through conflict and tough decisions.
When you think about the narrative around working mothers - especially in corporate spaces - what do you believe is still misunderstood? And what needs to change?
One of the biggest misunderstandings is around boundaries. Working mothers are often encouraged to “have it all,” but when they set clear boundaries to protect their time or their families, there can be quiet consequences. They’re sometimes perceived as less available or less ambitious simply because they’re committed to more than just their job.
There’s still an unspoken belief in some corporate spaces that the most committed employee is the one who is always on. That standard doesn’t reflect real life and it disproportionately impacts mothers.
What needs to change is the definition of commitment. Boundaries don’t signal a lack of dedication; they signal clarity and sustainability. Strong cultures don’t reward burnout, they respect balance.
“Boundaries don’t signal a lack of dedication. They signal clarity and sustainability.”
Irene Cofone is the US Director of HR at Group SJR, a WPP company, where she works closely with leaders navigating the human side of business.
She is the mother of two boys, Luke (9) and Alex (3), and her perspective on leadership has been shaped by balancing career, family, and the responsibilities that come with both.
She lives in Paramus, New Jersey with her husband Mark and their sons.
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/irene-cofone
